Monthly Archives: May 2016

Dangerous Golf — The Party Game of the Year?

Golf is boring.  How do you make it less boring?  Blow stuff up, destroy expensive art, cause mayhem.  Make it dangerous.

Yep, Dangerous Golf is a game for those who find golf boring but want to play it.  (Huh?)

I’m going to love Dangerous Golf.  Just the name alone is awesome.  But here, see for yourself:

Where are these golf courses?  The rule is find the most destructible of places.  A china shop, for example.  Or a rich dude’s dining room.  Places where each stroke yields a “Whoaaaa!!!” and a “Take that, you rich @#$^!”

I would love to play a round in Kobe Bryant’s trophy room (I’m definitely NOT a Lakers fan.  Go Dubs!).

dangerous golf video game

Break out the bubbly, it’s tee-party time!

The objective is to not only sink the ball in the hole, but do it in style.  Plant bombs, glue up, teleport room to room, and destroy as much as you can.  You gain cash for doing it right, or lose cash for failing to sink.

So just like Battleship, destroy and sink.

There’s also a party mode for 8 players because this is totally a party game.  Yeah, drink beers and sink holes.  The good life.

Dangerous Golf will be a classic.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutants in Manhattan — Tie-in Pizza-chomping good time…maybe

Ah, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles….  We love them.  We hate them.  We wonder, “Where did they come from?”

According to Wikipedia, they were created by two dudes back in the ‘80s in a comic book.  I first heard about them as a kid in cartoons and then toys.  I thought they were cool.  Ninjas are cool.  I was almost a teenager and thought teens were cool.  And of course Renaissance artists were cool.  And turtles…take-it-easy cool.  Yeah, TMNT were cool.

But I grew up, and I was like, “WHAAAAAAAT?”

Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird are the creators.  I didn’t bother to look them up, but I’m sure they were cool dudes hanging out in NYC.  Probably smoking something, downing a few drinks, watching ninja flicks while studying art because they were in NYC trying to make a living as artists.  Hard core La Boheme.

But then they were starving.  Crime was crazy (remember, NYC in the ‘80s).  And they were like, we need to make some money, get outta here, forget becoming the next Jackson Pollack, let’s draw some comics.

They saw some turtles, rest is history.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutants in Manhattan video game

Okay, that’s not the true story, I just made that up, but we’re talking about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles here.  Which reminds me, they’re mutants.  Mutants could be cool, too, I guess.

There’s a new TMNT movie.  Which means there’s a tie-in game.  True to most tie-in games, it’s more marketing than a work of art.  In other words, could probably wait to play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutants in Manhattan.  But for those TMNT die-hards, get it now on Amazon:

It’s an action hack and slash, cel-shaded co-op extravaganza featuring everything TMNT fans love about TMNT.  Pizza, Rat, April, et al.  Also including nostalgia-factor tapping to the game from ‘80s.  Fun ride, if you’re a fan, but it’s a tie-in game and tie-in games are about market the movie, leach off the name.  So, I’m not saying it’s a great game, but if you’re eating pizza and perhaps downing a few drinks, and need some time-killing this summer, go for it, why not.  After all…

These ARE the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Total War: Warhammer — Dwarves and Vampires? This ain’t your daddy’s Total War

Total War has come a long way from the days of 2D samurai hacking away at Buddhist monks.  With the launch of Total War: Warhammer, we have Trolls hacking away at Steam Tanks.

Ultimately it’s the same Total War game, but with Warhammer factions and units.  The trailer for it shows battles unlike anything we’ve seen in the Total War series: an eclectic collections of fantasy, horror and sci-fiction.

Get the game on Amazon using this link:

The four playable factions to start are the Empire, the Greenskins, the Dwarfs and the Vampire Counts.  A fifth, Chaos, is available for early buyers.

The map is expansive and diverse.  Each faction’s home is unique, from the wastes to the badlands to the great ocean and beyond.  Diversity is the theme as each factions features several different unique units.  Gone are the days of Spear Militia battling it out with Spear Milita.  Nope, we have dragons vs giants, more like Heroes of Might and Magic.

Total War had been based on real history until now, which was one of its draws.  Why are they deviating?  Are they selling out?  Not at all.  It’s a business, first of all.  And this game looks unique.  Not just some lame tie-in to something else.  They need to do more of this, using other games as well.

Of course, they need to keep the faithful and continue to offer more historical titles.  For example, a full world Total War from Antiquity to the Renaissance, including not only Europe, but all of Asia.  That would be an insane game.

total war warhammer

Shadow of the Beast — Side-scrolling Beastmode?

Shadow of the Beast is back, a redux of the 1989 cult classic.  It’s definitely a remake but not quite a “re-imagining”.  In fact, just like the original, it’s a side-scroller, which leaves me crying….

“Beast!!!”

Buy the game now using the link below.

The game’s story is one of the most intriguing.  An evil mage essentially creates a beast, Aarbron, to do all his dirty work.  Mainly, it’s a killing machine.  But once freed, he goes on an adventure, probably a little soul searching, coming-of-age to go from beast to “beauty-inside”.  That’s a concept worthy of a movie let alone a video game.

shadow of the beast video game

But here’s a lost opportunity….

Like a caged animal in the open for the first time, he’s left to explore, find his own way for the first time.  Even the most trivial things are wonders to him.  The sunset, the insects on the ground, every little thing he couldn’t have noticed before….

Doesn’t this scream Open World?

But alas, it’s a side-scroller.  Beast!!!

I bet the original developers in 1989 would have made this into an open world epic adventure had they the technology.  But back then, it was still like a decade away from the N64 Mario/Zelda and all the other pioneers of open world action.  So, they made an awesome side-scroller.

It’s 2016, a remake of the game, and it’s a side-scroller.

Beast!!!

A lost opportunity for sure, but it still looks good.

Buy the game and decide for yourself:

Civilization 6 Announcement Trailer — Is it the best Civilization game of all time?

Civilization VI is out in October and the official announcement trailer shows us…the same Civilization we’ve all loved for decades.

Buy the game now using the link below.

Growth, innovation, development…the trailer could be about any of the previous games in the Civilization family.

And of course, the trailer is all about the positives of human civilization.  Of course, anyone who has played the games knows it’s as much about destruction as creation.  Actually I would argue it’s more about death than life.

civilization 6 video game

You build, innovate, expand, and advance technologically in order to conquer others.  Even if you initially employ a growth and development strategy, at some point, you’ll be swinging the sword.  Because tragedy of the commons happens.  Because your neighbors are greedy.  Because your land borders the land of someone else.  It always leads to blood.

That’s why this game is awesome.  It eventually mirrors the dirt and blood-stained hands of human history.

The game’s concept will and should never change.  But the question I have every time a new Civ comes out is how good is the AI?  How will the AI adapt to changing situations?  How creative is it at diplomacy and military strategy?

When the AI mirrors human nature in its adaptability and creativity, then I will know that THE BEST Civilization game has arrived.

Civilization VI looks attractive and promising.  We’ll see how human it really is.

The turn-based strategy game is coming to PC on October 21, 2016.

Click the link to buy it on Amazon:

Battlefield 1 Official Reveal Trailer — Here’s why it’s better than Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare

Is it a surprise that Battlefield 1 is pummeling Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare in the battle for trailer love?  Not only pummeling, they’ve achieved total supremacy.

Battlefield 1 did what I said CoD should have done: go back to the past.

Battlefield 1 video game

Sci-fi…in 1914

CoD blasts way into the derivative future where mechs and space-fighters warp straight out of Halo, Star Wars, Titanfall, Battletech, et al.

Buy the game now, using the links below.

Battelfield 1 travels back to early 20th century, to the war that gets eclipsed by the more terrifying war that came 30 years after.  Not only historically and in the movies and in the classrooms, but also in video games.  But The Great War was a bloody mess in itself, the bloodiest in history.  It was also the first truly mechanical war.  Yes, World War 1 was the first great war of the industrial revolution.  Perfect for video games.

Brilliant!

Battlefield 1 video game

Trench warfare was gruesome.

World War 1 would have seemed like a strange sci-fi madness to those born in the 19th century.  Just thirty years prior, guys were still lining up with muskets.  And now, there were flying machines and gas masks and tanks.  Just as terrifying as mechs and space fighters and laser-blasters, but more real.  And more deadly.  And more interesting.

Brilliant!

Battlefield 1 video game

Cavalry charge + air power = mass death.

I was a Battlefield guy way back when.  Then I became a CoD guy.  And this year, the match goes back to Battlefield.  Loving this war.

Battlefield 1 video game

Death from above.

Battlefield 1 is out October 21, 2016 on PlayStation 4, Xbox One and PC.

Get it here:

Homefront: The Revolution — North Korea gets a little respect

Homefront: The Revolution is a game I’ve been waiting for a long time.  Not because of its promising gameplay but because it’s a world ruled by North Korea.

Get the game here:

The year is 2029 in a bizarro world where North Korea has taken over the United States.  Of course, it wouldn’t be North Korea at this point, but just Korea.  The Korean People’s Army rules their colonized territory with a heavy – yet high-tech – fist.

The game takes place in the birthplace of liberty, Philadelphia, and the Americans are once again, rebels, who strike back at their imperialistic oppressor.

Homefront: The Revolution features an open world environment.  There are three zones:

Green: relatively safe, well-fortified.

Yellow: Largest and poorest.

Forbidden: you ain’t supposed to be here, it’s forbidden…

The resistance is not a well-funded, highly-equipped one like in Star Wars.  Guys have to scavenge supplies to make the weapons they need to wage war.  The better you are at finding and MacGyvering, the better your chances of survival.

The game features a 4-player cooperative mode that’s separate from the main campaign.  Resistance requires teamwork and aptly named, “Resistance” mode will test your ability to work together.

North Koreans need a little love.  No one loves them, no one respects them.  But in this world, they get a chance.

The game is available on PS4, Xbox One, Linus, Windows, and OS X.

Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End — Never too old for a treasure hunt!

The best games take years to make.  Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End took almost 3 years and it looks worth the wait.  Check out the trailer below, buy it here on Amazon:

Nate Drake is back, forced out of retirement, forced out of his Norman Rockwell life and into a whole lotta madness.

For what?  Pirate treasure.  Yep, good old pirate gold.  Nate and his bro, Sam, embark on a male-bonding adventure around the globe for a lost pirate colony, Libertalia, rumored to be that big X on the proverbial treasure map.  It’s the kind of fantasy fun kids have as kids.  Nate and Sam ain’t kids, but they’re living that fantasy.  Pirate-treasure-hunting-life is the life for every grown-up kid.

Bullets fly, bikes launch, people get whacked, blood flows.  Not bad for a retiree.

The game is expected to take 15 hours to finish.  AI is one of the most advanced: bad guys have good memories and will flank you if you’re static.  Some of the gameplay is repetitive, 3rd person shootout action, but there are enough treasure and collections to collect, and so on.

The biggest draw, though, is the art.  3 years building this into a beauty.  It just looks awesome.  The story is killer, too.  There’s also multiplayer to stretch out your sixty bucks beyond 15 hours of solo campaign.

Yep, never too late to go on a treasure hunt.

Doom 2016 — No Permadeath for Doom

Doom was originally called Doom 4, but after 12 years of Doom-less-ness, it’s just Doom again.  Doom 3 came out in 2004.  Yep, 2004…way back when the Red Sox winning the World Series seemed like a sick joke.  2004…before Facebook and YouTube and Twitter.  Yep, the good old days.

Finally, Doom is back, and it’s badder than ever before.  Or it’s supposed to be.  To find out, order it now on Amazon:

Doom was the Alpha-Male of FPSs.  Again, back in the day.  In 2004, Call of Duty, Battlefield and even the Medal of Honor series were all vying for the FPS pie.  Just ten years earlier, Doom had it to themselves.  But what happened?

Nope, not the ravaging evil forces of hell.  People, man, just people.  Couldn’t get Doom 4 right.  They kept going back and forth in development.  Bad reviews and boring-dom.  Next thing you know, 12 years.

But it’s here now, and what are the selling points?

Fast moving gameplay.  Can’t hide behind walls.  Keep moving and blasting for health.

Intense melee action including the melee execution system to take down your foes in style.

Permadeath.  Yes, permadeath.  In the ultra-nightmare difficulty only, but still, it’s permadeath.  The game’s supposed to take 13 hours to complete, so permadeath might mean lots and lots of hours burnt away in hell.

After 12 years, game’s gotta be good. Nope, no permadeath for this old soldier.

Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare Reveal Trailer — Another Year, Another CoD for Christmas….

The Call of Duty series have become sports games.  There’s a new one every year.  They might as well start naming them by year, CoD ’16, CoD ’17….

The latest, out in November, is aptly titled, Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare.  Yes, it does feel infinite, the never-ending war of the FPSs and the studios that publish regurgitated, derivative, half-baked releases every year before Christmas.

And derivative is the word that best captures Infinite Warfare, based on the reveal trailer.  Halo, Titanfall, Gears of War, and a few others come to mind.

Continuing into the future, Infinite Warfare has us battling the evils of the Settlement Defense Front.  Yes, the Settlement Defense Front – I’m scared!

Based on the name, I’m guessing they’re like militia – the rebelling colonies, maybe, against their oppressive imperialists.  Somehow, I feel like I’m on the wrong side, already.  The last time I heard SDF was Robotech, which I loved, so maybe the name ain’t all bad.

More new stuff from the trailer?

Dog fights in space.

No, I don’t mean Riley hunting down a Chihuahua.  I mean, like Starfox and Star Wars.  You’re in a fighter blasting other fighters into oblivion.

call of duty infinite warfare

Dog fights in space

Another “new” stuff?

Mechs.

And they look like every Mech you’ve ever seen going back to Robotech and Battletech and Titanfall….

call of duty infinite warfare

CoD mechs look like mechs from…everywhere else!

Come on, CoD, you are CoD!  Challenge yourself! Have some pride in your name! Yep, I’ll say it: answer the call of duty to make a better FPS!

What’s the concept for 2017?  More of the same future?

Sometimes, it’s not bad to go back to the past.  Yes, that’s right.  WW2.  Please!

call of duty infinite warfare